Of all our observation preferences, one of the most tenacious might be that we believe in happiness as an internal job and grief as an outside one.
We usually see that we want to build or at least add to our happiness (we must book the trip, leave the job, find the soulmate) but frequently fail to recognise that the most profound and most prevalent causes of grief are not outside events that happen by accident.
Grief is the outcome of a sequence of behaviours, habits, thought models, and adaptations. We believe that it is simply the effect of outside circumstances, which is why we worry about failing command. We know this isn’t correct. Some people are happy while possessing little. And others are intensely sorrowful despite having everything in the world. It’s not concerning what’s around us but what’s inside us — and nearly all unhappy souls have one particular character trait inside them.
When we’re young, if we are lucky, a guardian or caretaker fulfils our most basic requirements. Someone matches our shoes and encourages us to brush our teeth, finish our homework, and get a snack on the table. This is, essentially, what kids need to survive and grow.
“Happiness is a direction Not Destination”
Over time, an efficient guardian will truly mentor the kid into being capable to perform chores on their own. As the kid grows, they will learn to ready themselves, nourish themselves, and take care of their own space. They’ll get to manage their relations, do their homework on time or not, show up for training or not, and be a trustworthy person or not. Then, of course, they will remain out the outcomes of those decisions.
But, if a kid is never permitted to see themselves as fully independent. He will never learn to do the task on its own. They will not be able to take the key decisions of their life. But proficient of making their fulfilment or disappointment — the child matures a stuck adult. This is typically the outcome of an unhealthy relationship with parents. As fostered by a parent who relies on the child for a sense of self.
When we are children, we cry for our guardians to fix our obstacles. As adults, we can simply turn to ourselves. All unfortunate people share a single character trait: immaturity.
All unfortunate people share a single character trait: immaturity. Our Habits are the root cause of our unhappiness. we need to change our Habits and adapt to a new lifestyle.
When we do not take liability for our words and behaviours. we fire them off at random and end up severing relationships and hurting people. This is immaturity. When we do not consider our physical bodies or homes because we don’t “feel like” washing the dishes or working out. they unavoidably fall into disarray. This is immaturity.
“People should find happiness in the little things, like family”
When someone wrongs us, we protrude our refusal onto them and become bitter. Our petty and passive-aggressive remarks keep us pierced. But make us resemble as though we are far more disturbed than we might be in reality. This is immaturity.
We are never satisfied with what we have. But decide to cry about them what we not have, we remain unhappy. This is immaturity.
When we grow and mature properly. We begin taking charge of our appearance, our homes, our jobs, and — ultimately — our results. When we grow up, we can prioritize long-term results over short-term ambitions.
Over time, we come to discover that we source some of our biggest joy from doing so. We find genuine peace in coming home to space we love. Some show up more vivacious and more willing to correlate when we put ourselves collectively in a way they like. We reap the advantages of hard work like exercise and committing to a specific career path.
When we mature, we can prioritize long-term results over short-term desires. Immature individuals are not.
“Happiness depends Upon Ourselves”
To be very clear, it is not “immature” to be clinically pessimistic. That diagnosis is complex than general sorrow. They are two separate entities and encounters with different causes and remedies.
The heart of unhappiness is an unwillingness to take liability for one’s life.
An Individual should take self-responsibility of his their which can enhance their way of living. Immaturity might be a character trait, but it’s still a flexible one. It’s something we can operate on and something we can fix.
Half of the world walks around as though they are still kids. As though someone else is liable for fixing their difficulties. If they cry loudly enough an adult will ultimately respond. The rest walk around the understanding that they are adults. And with time, space, and maturity, they will have the ability and resources to fix the difficulties they face. Or, at a minimum, they’ll be able to strategize a solution and get to operate on changing course.
“The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of freedom is courage.”
The heart of grief is an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s life. It is prevailing in a constant childlike state and questioning why the world doesn’t respond.